When Dr. Tova Walsh, a researcher at the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health, interviewed twenty-two Michigan fathers in 2010 about their experiences with ultrasounds, she was surprised to learn that the experience had a huge impact on how they prepared for fatherhood.
In fact, the study concluded that the ultrasound experience “caused the men to reflect on their roles in the life of mother and child, making it an important practical and psychological preparation for parenthood.”
It’s no wonder that with COVID restrictions preventing partners from attending some prenatal visits, many fathers-to-be are understandably crushed to find they won’t have the pregnancy experience they always imagined. They may feel left out of the process to discover that only mom will be able to hear baby’s first heartbeat during an ultrasound, or that they won’t be in the room when they learn the child’s biological sex.
So, what options do partners have? Is it possible to fix the feeling of missing out on some of pregnancy’s most memorable moments?
Let Yourself Mourn The Loss Of What Was Supposed To Be A “Normal” Pregnancy
This is basic, but it’s so important to let yourself feel any feelings that come with such a big loss. Know that feeling disconnected or disheartened is completely normal and perfectly okay! Just start by accepting however you feel and letting yourself process those emotions.
Know Your Options
While some healthcare providers no longer allow partners to attend appointments with their loved one, others may be allowing partners to attend some appointments. Each will have their own rules and regulations, so make sure to call your doctor’s office and ask for the specifics.
See Which Prenatal Appointments Are Going Virtual
Some offices are swapping certain in-person visits for virtual appointments. Depending on the stage of the pregnancy, mothers-to-be may be asked to weigh themselves or take their own blood pressure at home. This gives partners a great opportunity to stay by their side, which can strengthen the bond and make you feel like you’re still part of the process.
Also be sure to ask about your hospital’s policy on virtual calls where you can tune in during the ultrasound in real time. Although some hospitals will not allow this due to HIPAA laws and privacy concerns, others might, so it’s a good idea to check.
Go Old School
Many healthcare offices are still providing their patients with an “old school” printed sonogram of baby at those in-person appointments. A great idea is to ceremoniously hang that sonogram up on the fridge in the kitchen or, better yet, frame and save it as a memento for your future baby book.
While dad-to-be or partner-to-be may have not been there, we love the idea of making a big deal of those little sonogram waves from baby.
Fun Game Suggestion: Try to decode the 3D sonogram of your baby bean and guess if he or she will inherit Mom or Dad’s nose!
Does it hurt to miss the day of the ultrasounds and the announcement of the sex of your baby? Yes. However, it doesn’t have to change the connection you feel with your partner and child — though the connection may be different than the kind you expected.
Remember that you will get to experience life’s most important milestones — the birth of your little one, their first steps, kindergarten graduation, and many more.
Keep in mind, too, that by not attending some in-person visits, you’re helping keep mom, baby, other patients, and medical staff as safe as possible. So even though you may be missing some pretty big moments, at least it’s for a noble cause.
Another great way to help keep your family safe in the future? By preserving your newborn’s stem cells. They’ll always be a 100% match to baby and have up to a 75% chance of being at least a partial genetic match to siblings. Not only are they used today to treat dozens of serious conditions, they already being studied in 500+ clinical trials for regenerative medicine uses.1,2
Expecting a child? Have friends or family who are expecting? Enroll with us today or log into your account for your unique referral code. When someone you refer preserves with CBR, you’ll get one year of free cord blood storage—and they’ll receive special pricing on our newborn stem cell bundle!*
1. Verter F, Couto PS, Bersenev A. A dozen years of clinical trials performing advanced cell therapy with perinatal cells. Future Sci OA. 2018;4(10):FSO351. doi:10.4155/fsoa-2018-0085 2. Clinicaltrials.gov